S A P I B L OG

or short: LHC, is now the world's largest particle accelerator, built by Conseil Européen pour la Recherche Nucléaire (CERN) or European Organization for Nuclear Research.
Maybe some of you have already read or heard of it in the news from the past few Weeks (or months), it was operated on September 10^th this year but due to some technical problems the LHC was shut down for maintenance on September 19^th(source)

I heard about this project about two years ago, read it from a magazine, and my thought at that time is, 'why would someone built things like that'. If you haven't seen the 'thing'; Google it! It is a mega-gigantic-huge ring, with a total distance of 27 kilometers! And that is all for one purpose: they want to explain how the Universe was created. At first I don't get it, how can you find answer of such big questions by colliding particles?

They want to 'recreate' a big bang they said. Well I'm not very good at Teilchenphysik (particle Physics), but I am a huge fan of Universe (I used to have a dream to be an 'Angkasawan'), so I read (or better heard) about this theory. But still I don't get it? Can they answer it all? Just by colliding it? Wouldn't it mean, if they succeed to recreate the big bang would be the end of the world? Because you know, this is BIG BANG!

Eager to know the answer of my questions, yesterday I attended the 'Weltmaschine'. It is an exhibition held by German Ministerial for Research, and it was mainly about LHC.

There I learned that true purpose of colliding the particles (mainly hydrogen particles, but they also colliding lead particles) is to answer another question, which is: how the matters are created? Or what built the matters?

As we learn in school, everything has a smaller component which built it. We know everything built by the atoms, but we also know that atom is not the smallest 'unit' that built the entire thing. Atom is built by even smaller components, called neutron, proton and electron. And maybe some of us know that the proton and neutron aren't the basic components. They are built by what called quarks. (By the way, in the exhibition I learned that the name quark is actually taken from some novel or something similar and not by the founders name like usual. Funny huh?) There are many types of quarks (I can't recall all) and these quarks together with electron and muon (it is similar to electron, but with higher mass) and the forces are the fundamental things that built all the matter in the universe. With this experiment (colliding particles) they want to see which fundamental (or elementary) matter build by the collision, and so they can proved that the theories they invented are true.

Now the next question is? Is the creation of matter really important? Hmm, in my opinion: maybe it is! Let's track back the chronological order from big bang to the present state of universe. Right after the big bang, some quarks bound together to build neutrons and protons. After a while the electromagnetic forces bind the electron together with proton and neutron to build an atom. Two or more atoms, build a molecule. And more molecules build a larger matter, in a scale of a dust. A vast amount of this 'dust' spins together to build a star, planet, asteroids. Together they build a Solar System. More Solar System build galaxy, and so on. And of course all of this took place in a very looong time. Well we know that matter is also a form of energy, according to Einstein's famous equation. Since there is no larger matter at the beginning of time, the other form of energy must be provided in a vast amount, but what type of energy? And which atoms are built at the first time? (This is most possibly hydrogen, because it is the simplest and the most common element in universe.) If the LHC can answer this question, so they can simulated how the big bang was like and answer the other questions.

Another thing I learned is the fact that, if we weighed all the 'visible' matter in universe, it still only about 5% of the total Energy of the universe. By visible I mean all matter that generates radiation. FYI, all matters radiate amount of energy, in form of electromagnetic waves. The rest 25%, according to them, is so called black matters. That is the hypothetical matter that doesn't interact with electromagnetic waves, so they can't be 'sensed' by us, human. The other 70% is dark energy (this thing reminds me to star wars! lol). What is this? I don't know, and I don't think they know either.

Huh, it seems that the more we learn about the universe the less we know about it, because solving one puzzle only lead to another puzzle. I would like to quote Werner Heisenberg, which is one of my favourite quote "Der erste Schluck aus dem Becher der Naturwissenschaft führt zum Atheismus, jedoch am Grunde des Bechers wartet Gott." (One will experience atheism by the first sip from the cup of science, but at the bottom of the cup we'll found god.)

'Maybe this dark matter thing is really god?' A friend joked. Well, who knows? xD

This sentence really makes me scared. Why? I tell you why.

I always have the same problem, every semester, great motivation that didn't last long. As for this semester, my plan was sooo good, almost perfect. Apply for a (better) job, come to every lecture every week the whole semester, pass the exams at the end of the semester, deepen my relationship with my gf, make biodiesel and enjoy life.

So? What happened? As I mentioned above, lack of action ruined it all. As for applying job, I was planning to get another job, a better one. I was applying to a small–mid company; it is a consultant company for energy. I always wanted to know how the 'working-world' in the branch looked like. Well I can see me working in this area in the future, that's why.

Well, I guess it didn't go so well. I wasn't got rejected; they didn't reply, even a word!! I guess now I know how its feel being stood up. xD

And then the new semester begin, (omg I can't believe I've been studied for almost five years; and more to come). Well it's okay. Well it isn't, actually. Friends back in Indo, and of course mom and dad, always asked me, how come it took me so long to graduate. Well, I know it's not normal to 'them', and for most of student throughout the entire planet earth (am I beginning to exaggerate?), but in Germany, the rules is different, and it's called freedom =D
Well I'm not trying to defend myself, and neither am I try to say that just because the environment allows it and then it's okay to do so. No! The point is, the educational system in Germany, I admit, is a little bit chaotic. The University didn't care much (sometimes, at all) whether the students come to the lectures or not. You won't get any warning even if you are not coming the whole year, or more. They don't care.
I was working yesterday and on the way back home, I chatted with fellow workers. One of them is a first semester student. She asked me, whether it is okay, not to take any of exam in the semester. Of course it's okay. And I'm beginning to wonder, is this kind of policy good or bad?

Well the point is, everything has bad side and good side. Two sided coin. The students in DE have more option to take whatever they want, whatever they're interested in; we got freedom here, and the one who control this freedom is only our self. As I started as first semester, I was so naïve; enjoying life too much. Way too much. I fell on a pit. Ouch.
Only the one with the strong determination can survive this attempt. (exaggerating?)

Well, back to the topic. Do I manage to come to every lecture every week until now? The answer is : No. Why?

Beside lack of determination, I also got another problem. I have sleeping disorder. I don't think it is insomnia, but I have difficulty to sleep in time when I should sleep. Errr, I'm not making it very clear, am I? Well, let say today I sleep at 11pm. Regardless of the wake up time, I can't sleep at 11pm the day after, only later of 11pm. Ehm, maybe I do feel sleepy before 11 pm, but if I am not sleep in about 1 hour or so, the sleepiness will suddenly disappear.(like right now!) And this thing sometimes disturbs me, and keeping me away to fulfill my duty. =( lazy ass , grr.

Ach, about the relationship thing. My relationship was shaken rather than deepened. Well but for now we try to build it again, brick by brick.

And the last thing, the biodiesel project, I plan to make one together with a friend, and I hope this project can boost my motivation once again. Hahaha.

And if I continued to keep these bad records going on, I am afraid I will regret it at the end, again. But more important is, I am afraid of my future. I know, I will have a bright future ahead, if I manage to change the bad habits of mine.

So I guess I have to cut the – enjoy life – part a bit.

What goes around comes around.